Some people evolve, some others stay the same.
When we evolve though, our concepts and definitions change for the better. We become somewhat pickier, more
sophisticated. Many changes start happening in our behavior that not always are accepted by those who share or
used to share our social group. That is an unequivocal sign that you are evolving.
It is typical in any organization to find
individuals who have influence on most other peers. In a few cases the influential person is a positive leader,
although unfortunately most of those influencers may not be positive. Indeed the majority of them may be
negative and destructive. Their influence can be a result of
seniority, personality or simple bullying. People align with them either because they feel good with them or
fear being away from their lines of conduct.
You can easily identify those bad leaders when
they approach you to advise things like: “you don’t need to work that hard” – “you get the same pay if you do
your best or you do not” – “don’t worry that much about quality” – “ you don’t need to be always on time” – or –
“that is not your job.” If you are not yet ready to evolve, those advices will be acceptable. Most people will
be comfortable following them.
Drastic Changes May
in order to Achieve Harmony
It is not easy, for sure, to achieve the desired
results. Sometimes it may even be painful. It is worth it to do whatever it takes, and you will be able to
confirm this only after you have accomplished each change and enjoyed the results.
We may be wrong when we believe that a person “is
that way” and “we can’t make them change.” Some people may deserve your help to make some changes. There is one
experiment that I would like to share with you:
Treat that person as if he or she was one of the
kindest individuals you know. Show that person that you really expect the best from them. In most cases you may
be very surprised at the response.
Divorce for example is one of the most traumatic
experiences that a human being can go through. In some cases though, you may need to go to that extreme. This is
especially true if some of the issues that displease you are related to a consistently abusive relationship.
Abuse does not need to be violent; it suffices
that one or the other partners may not be affectionate or generous enough, to establish a difficult situation
where one is the taker and the other is the giver. In a partnership of any kind, sentimental or not, equal
benefits must be enjoyed by the partners so they feel fairly treated. Only in fairness is harmony